Disordered Eating

There is that feeling of hollowness
that radiates below the ribcage.
You feel it in
grief, heartbreak, and loneliness.
In the same spot that hunger pangs for you.

I have always tried to find my home on a plate,
not just “eating my feelings,”
or “comfort food”
but satiating
those needs for a tangible other.
It’s possible the reason our grief feels
like hollowness is so we may feed sadness and move on.
How are hunger and grief not the same?
Our body does not know what hunger for our lost love needs,
it knows what hunger needs.
So –
I suppose I don’t see food as love, I see fullness as safety.
Feeding hunger is not so bad when the hollow goes away.
I simply would not survive if I had medicated all my hurt with thoughtfulness.

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