In Summer I

In Summer I
went out at night to walk under a bright
sky to imagine someone I shouldn’t
when I think the sun isn’t watching
I hum out the words I’d want you to say
when I think no one can hear.

You’ve woken my stomach and heart,
my insides are tangled and
wrestle down any last
dream of warmth
before I step
back into the
yellow synthetic light
of cold awakeness.

When I think I’ve loved you enough,
the outdoor summer night
churns my organs.
In everything,
you are arrhythmia .
and I am aching in the most delicious way.

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