I loved you when I wrote this

It’s summer and it smells like mold but you only taste like
those lemon shandy beers.
It’s summer and we are in an out without really being out
and I can’t believe I ever stopped wanting you every minute
of every day.
and maybe I never did, but I know you became too much good
when I thought I deserved only bad.

I recount that party you dragged me to,
each second wondering what would have happened if I said nothing.
Because when you speak all I see is your bright white teeth and framed lips
and when you sleep, the same.
You will always be the sunshine through my bedroom window, though sometimes, I suppose, my blinds are pulled down.


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