This gray will kill me

Today I found circles in the trees
where the leaves had twirled toward each other.
Even though rain fell
I couldn’t be bothered to close my eyes to blink;
they stared and stared.
Soon my mouth fell open too so I could breath out
the churning in my stomach from the feeling that
I had been holding back a thought (though
the gray sky had quieted everything in me.)
My throat relaxed, knowing I could say nothing.
Late spring weather patronizes and teases but
my heart is tugged on and I don’t feel so playful.
My chest now drags open,
cracking my ribs
to make way for shivers so strong I’m almost stilled again.
The city is so brooding that it has shown that
not only is it no longer eager to impress,
but it threatens to spit me out.

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